imageMeet my alter ego Captain Grief, un-apologetically making her way through the infuriating, embarrassing, impolite stages of grief and then backtracking just as quickly as she arrives.

Is she moody….?
Sure is.
Prone to indecisiveness…?
Heck yeah.
Seems a little slower than her usual self…?
You betcha.
Bit of slob…?
Likely to break into uncontrollable fits of sobbing in public…?
Without a doubt.

She’s kinda a bitch too but that’s allowed. She’s grieving…in a cape!!!

In The Flying Adventures of Captain Grief the Captain and I get up to a whole bunch of nonsense debating, illuminating our journey through the daily terrors and triumphs of grief and occasionally possibly providing helpful tips for coping. We also like making lists such as “10 things that are normally frowned upon or misunderstood, but you can get away with when your spouse dies.” Take care and enjoy…with a grain of salt.

Illustration by abwarriner. Banner illustration by Stephanie Fahey.


imageNow that the necessity for this blog has run its course I have closed it. However, as a spin off of The Highflying Adventures of Captain Grief I write a monthly online queer parenting blog called The Ginger Menace through PinkPlayMags. Illustration by abwarriner.

I have also started a personal blog called Brave.Creative.Me I have created a space for myself to explore all of my artistic leanings. I post on Tuesdays and Thursdays about writing, art, cooking, crafting, photography, travel and pretty much anything else I darn well please.

50 thoughts on “Home

  1. Chantelle McLaren

    Looking forward to following your blog. 🙂

    Since I cant translate my grammatically correct asl which is not the same grammar as English I will just leave a ((((HUG)))) and a big box of extra soft Puffs Plus tissues <3

    Your Milli friend

  2. Diane Carlson

    Good morning Captain Grief,
    I am so impressed with this site – and look forward to regularly reading it.
    It will be a definite aid to all grief-stricken women out there – perhaps even men too – especially with the added humour mixed in with the stark aspects of the grieving process.
    You go, Girl – we’re proud of you!
    Di & Roy

  3. Jeff

    I love Captain Grief! Wonderful illustration by Stephanie Fahey! I’m really looking forward to seeing where you go with this Kelly. It’s been 17 years since I lost my mom suddenly to a particularly voracious cancer and even today (especially around Mother’s Day) I feel a hole of grief in my heart. It’s smaller and less stabby and it was a long time before I was able to stick all the pieces together and feel like I even had a heart again, but it healed with a lovely sexy scar that taught me much about myself. Humour is the way to go–if you have that, it hurts a little less each time you laugh. =)

    1. Captain Grief Post author

      I totally agree! Grief doesn’t finish it just changes. It is the speed bump that comes up every holiday, special occasion or anything of personal significance that can trip you up. I posted on Valentines to kick things of and it is super funny I didn’t think about all the rest of the crappy days I would have extra reason to make special posts on too…shiver. There with yeah buddy!

  4. Vreneli wall


    I am sorry to hear that your wife passed away. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.

    I can’t believe you launched a website! Are you super human?

    We are pulling for you.

    Love from another milli friend,

  5. Karen

    Yup, its official… I love it! The alter ego thing is fantastic! I feel like you can be gorgeous, vivacious, positive, real, amazing, caring Kelly while Captain Grief gets to carry that other crap that weighs you down. So awesome to release that other crap into the universe by writing about it too! You really inspire me, my friend. Love you!!

  6. Karina

    I like this site Kelly, yes, sharing this way is a great outlet. I’m considering starting a blog of my own, I’ll see what comes up within the next few weeks. I feel spring is a good time to do so….

    1. Captain Grief Post author

      Oh I so hope you do, blogging is great fun when you have motivation…which I have ;P And yes, the spring is a great time for new projects! Good luck and let me know when you post!

  7. McKell Neilson

    I am proud of you for doing this and Kara would be too!
    I will look forward to dinners with you and reading about Captain Grief!
    Love you lots! xo

  8. Pal

    What ever it takes to get through it is OK. Out of all this not great stuff I was so happy to see all the support that you and the little man have. Thinking of you every day. I like your adventures and look forward to the biggest [all ahead of us]. Luv Pal.

  9. Suza

    Captain Grief speaks for me in terms of losing a spouse and being queer!!!
    I am definitely going to spread the word of your blog with my friends in the Spousal Loss group at Bereaved Families of Ontario
    My wife of 14 years died suddenly and unexpectedly June 23/12at age 50 and daily living is a struggle despite all the support. I ordered the book of poetry you suggested and I think it will help! I’m really looking forward to your posts and to sharing what I have experienced. Go Grief, Go!

    1. Captain Grief Post author

      Hello my dear fellow Grief Captain!!!
      I am so glad you got in touch with me. Did you know that June 23rd is national widows day? http://www.un.org/en/events/widowsday/background.shtml
      My head is pinging with ideas even now for a special post!
      As for the queerness, yes indeed! I have been very lucky with my friends and family but it is so true that in the same token that not everyone is accepting of our relationships, it would follow that not everyone would be accepting for the morning and loss of those same relationships! Not encountered that yet but you can bet I will get my bitch on that day!Keep in touch and just keep flying!

      P.S did u get my fb message?

      1. Suza

        Hey Captain Grief…sorry, I did not get your FB message and I just found your response today by coincidentally checking your site…it’s quite remarkable that Cee’s deathiversary falls on National Widows Day…freaky
        This date will mark my first year without her and I don’t imagine life changing/getting brighter after the year mark passes…it’s all been too surreal and I’m still having a hard time believing she died
        I just got the book of poetry yesterday and have been a sobbing mess with a few of the poems…thx for the suggestion
        FB me again at Suza Hranilovic
        In grief and gratitude,

  10. In Bordelon

    Your creativity amazes me. This article on The High Flying Adventures of Captain Grief | Grief is messy& is beautifully written and has high quality content. I would be very happy if you could spend some time to visit my blog on vin history and give me some comments too, thanks, thank you!

    1. Captain Grief Post author

      Thanks so much, its my first real attempt blogging, I would be happy to visit your site, is it the URL vinfreecheck.com/vin-free-check/ ? I will look and see!

  11. kwiaciarnia online

    Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything. However imagine if you added some great images or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images and clips, this website could definitely be one of the most beneficial in its field. Great blog!

  12. szkolenie bhp radom

    Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say excellent blog!

    1. Captain Grief Post author

      Hi there!So sorry you had trouble with the site, guess there are a few bugs to work out. Would have loved to get your feedback but I am just glad you are enjoying my project! I do moderate the comments because I have been getting spam. Take care,


    1. Captain Grief Post author

      Very interesting response my friend. It makes me feel a tad introspective. I wonder if one could consider death the biggest foe of all as all change is difficult because it is loss. Death is loss on a fundamental level in our life. Not just that we lose them but every way they impacted our life changes, that is why it is so hard to live with. Thanks so much for your input,


  13. Anonymous

    I was recommended this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem. You’re amazing! Thanks!

  14. torty komunijne katowice

    After I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can take away me from that service? Thanks!

    1. Captain Grief Post author

      Sorry for the inconvenience. I am not sure how I do that. Though I suspect because you selected notify me I cant counteract that? I will look into it and see if I have any control over it.


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    Great blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog stand out. Please let me know where you got your theme. Bless you

    1. Captain Grief Post author

      Hey there, glad you like the look. I used the http://www.fatcow.com to get my domain and then used their link to WordPress. Their customer help is super accessible via phone or chat. I just picked a template to determine where text and pictures would go on the layout, picked a colour and used an illustration a friend of mine did of Captain Grief to slap in the picture space. Super simple is good I think, more focus on the content. Good luck and let me know how it goes!



Thanks for flying with me, leave me a comment and tell me how the trip was!